Learn From It

I see what the Republicans don't like. They're happy to tell you what they don't like. They're happy when they're telling you what they don't like. They don't like John Kerry. They don't like Liberals (so much so, that they capitalize the word much of the time). They don't like anyone who enjoins. They don't like anyone who opposes. They don't like the world as it is. They don't like the world as it could be. They only like the past. And only a version of the past which never existed.

They don't accept that the past is changeable, even as they bend and warp it to support their own Rightness. They don't accept that contradiction, paradox, irony, inference and induction are valuable tools for expanding knowledge.

They can't tell you why they're right, because they only measure it by their perceived wrongness of others.

That's why Others are Always Bad. Always Wrong. Always Ridiculous. Always Credulous.

They believe in a government just small enough to fit inside your bedroom, just small enough to fit in what they insist is the empty headspace of the Others.

They imagine that there's nothing to imagine. They assume that their assumptions are rock solid. They insist that the borders they have mapped out map out all of existence. They don't allow for unprovable truths nor refutable falsehoods.

So when Others talk about a brighter future, or a nobler purpose, or a more companionable co-existence with other nations, they assign insanity to Us Others, because we're talking about things they Know to be impossible fancies. And they're Never Wrong.

So the next time your friendly neighborhood Republican starts telling you why John Kerry is either so weak-willed as to be dangerous, or so strong-willed as to be dangerous, ask him or her what their vision of the future is. And ask them directly what President George W. Bush offers to the world besides jingoism and plutocracy.

If they decide to honor your request, you'll be greeted with silence. It's the Right Answer.

Posted by Jeff at 11:42 AM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

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The room darkens, text comes up on the exploding scoreboard, "September 11, 2001".

Three women, a wife and two sisters, talk about their families' connections to the events of that day.

A moment of silence falls, by request.

Amazing Grace is sung a cappella by a singer on a rising stage.

That, folks, is the RNC 2004 and not the 700 Club.

Sam feels punched in the stomach. I feel queasy.

I feel for the families, I respect their loss. So much so I'd never use it as a stunt in these pages, much less a national circus.

I'm only thankful that the Demos didn't do this. Not because it's cheap and skanky (though it is), but because if it were the Democrats making such a maudlin display, the Rightwingnuts out there would be calling all three of those women whores and find reasons to discredit their grief.

The Republicans are incredibly life-like, though. I'll give them that.

Posted by Jeff at 08:43 AM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

Have you noticed how slippery the slope of smear-campaigning is? Things so quickly descend into the dank, septic lands of "why the other guy sucks", far away from the nobler, more sublime heights of "why I like/admire/appreciate the guy I intend to vote for".

Now, I call that place septic and dank because I've been there. It's nothing but name-calling and subterfuge and low-effort (but high volume) attempts to frustrate any initiative the other guy might have. In that land, there's not enough space to, in turn, create enough time to stop and to listen. Not enough time to think, consider and perhaps respond on any level above appropriating insults that apply to both sides and selectively applying them only to the enemy.

And make no mistake: there is no opposition, only enemy. No opponent, only nemesis.

Inference is overrun by interference, discourse goes to disrespect, idea goes to dogma.

Things get all turned around. The practice of free (read: contrary) speech somehow turns into accusations of Soviet- and Viet-style communism where, ironically, opposing speech is not at all welcomed. Even irony doesn't get a chance to breathe, doesn't get a chance to do its usual work of exposing the not-so-universal aspects of Accepted Universals.

The moment at which old-school conservatism hitched its wagon to religious zeal is not exactly known, but its effects are. Bureaucratic Theocracy answered a long-standing philosophical question a long time ago: when the irresistible force of the human need for adolescent absolutes meets the immovable object of human diversity, bureaucracy swallows them both. Put another way, when 'god' and the system converge into the same entity, the system always wins. Belief gets shifted from the god to the government, because, let's face it...no matter how ill-equipped and feckless, the present mother beats the absent father any day. It's sad, really, because it's the offspring who suffer at the hands of she who bore them.

But sometimes the offspring create a new thing. Or remember an old alternative: positivity.

I can, with a sober and earnest and candid face say that, as far as I know him, know of him, I really like John Kerry. I like that when you see those bits of 'real' pop through (like I did when Kerry appeared on the Daily Show with Jon Stewart), the difference between off-script and on-script is noticeable, but only extends to a change in tone, not demeanor. He's the same guy whether he's campaigning as he is when the political composure breaks and his person comes through. I like his wife a whole bunch; I admire her and her taste, her bearing, her words and so I like John Kerry because Teresa does. I cannot imagine her being with someone she does not respect. The Heinzes never worked that way.

I like that he respected the UCMJ while he was subject to it and I love that he honored the ideals of free speech in this country by exercising his own speech after the UCMJ no longer had its claws in him. He may have broken a promise to his former shipmates, but those kinds of promises are bad-faith anyway (where I'd define a bad-faith promise as one which seeks to hide truths rather than maintain them). Quite frankly, whether he served in the military or not, I don't care. I don't see how taking orders without question and having the opportunity to do your own thing only in limited, local contexts makes you better prepared to lead the "free world".

I like John Kerry because of his positivism. This is not to say he hasn't been critical of the opposition, but his criticism comes in the form of refutable fact. His criticism is aimed at the behavior of the person, not the person himself. And no one is free from criticism, not even John Kerry.

I wish John Kerry would risk more sound-bytes (e.g., "I support marriage for same-sex couples because...") that would nonetheless be lifted from their original context by the rabid mobs who will then see it splashed all over every "liberal media" outlet. Go for it, I say, it will just hasten their end. Let them foam at the mouth and let them continue on their path because their path is finite. It will end because it has ended every time, whether the rabid mob has been conservative or liberal. It will end because that is its nature, its fate.

I'm not voting for John Kerry solely or even primarily because I believe that President Bush is frightfully inept and intangibly corrupt, even though I believe those things to be true. No, I'm voting for John Kerry because I like the man and I have confidence in his abilities right now in 2004.

I'm also not saying you should vote for "Anybody But Bush", but I understand if you do.

Posted by Jeff at 02:06 AM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

In this late stage of the game, I'm often offended by people bringing up homosexuality like it's just another political notion, or worse, a social-engineering soupbone for the Rabid Right to gnaw on. I'm put off by having to even bring up my being gay when it's a conscious shift in conversation.

I'm the last person in the world to think that any of us <irony>faggots</irony> are somehow flaunting our sexuality by merely stating that we're gay or that we're partnered to someone of the same sex. On the contrary, I find others to be flaunting their sheltered, bourgeois, homogeneity by assuming in the first place that everyone they meet is straight. And if some of you out there want a good look at the gay agenda, well, there it is: stop assuming that hegemony is the same thing as totality.

Yep, that's it, AnnSeanRushWPatAdNauseum, that's all of it. Stop assuming, because you're turning u and me into asses.

Just because you state—from however visible a pulpit—that there's somehow a "tyranny of the minority" with your so-called "activist judges" and "sinister gay agenda", doesn't make it true. It doesn't even make it plausible.

Toqueville identified it a long time ago. He coined the original phrase "tyranny of the majority" in America (see how clever Right Wingnuts can be, flip-flopping that word over and creating a whole new dogma out of it?) Here's a quote from his famous book, "Democracy in America". The quote is from Volume 1, Chapter 15: Unlimited Power of the Majority, and Its Consequences, Part II:

When I refuse to obey an unjust law, I do not contest the right which the majority has of commanding, but I simply appeal from the sovereignty of the people to the sovereignty of mankind. It has been asserted that a people can never entirely outstep the boundaries of justice and of reason in those affairs which are more peculiarly its own, and that consequently, full power may fearlessly be given to the majority by which it is represented. But this language is that of a slave.

A majority taken collectively may be regarded as a being whose opinions, and most frequently whose interests, are opposed to those of another being, which is styled a minority. If it be admitted that a man, possessing absolute power, may misuse that power by wronging his adversaries, why should a majority not be liable to the same reproach? Men are not apt to change their characters by agglomeration; nor does their patience in the presence of obstacles increase with the consciousness of their strength. *c And for these reasons I can never willingly invest any number of my fellow- creatures with that unlimited authority which I should refuse to any one of them.

[Footnote c: No one will assert that a people cannot forcibly wrong another people; but parties may be looked upon as lesser nations within a greater one, and they are aliens to each other: if, therefore, it be admitted that a nation can act tyrannically towards another nation, it cannot be denied that a party may do the same towards another party.]

In my mind, the salient part: "Men are not apt to change their characters by agglomeration; nor does their patience in the presence of obstacles increase with the consciousness of their strength.", because contained in it is the word I've been looking for to describe the apparent strength of the American Right: agglomeration. That is not to say that that's all there is to the Republican Party. I would not be so bold as to lump them all together; they're doing the lumping all on their own. But they do lead with it. More to the point, look at all the initiatives the Bushies consider important, and then consider for yourselves, what all those initiatives have in common, from the point of view of agglomeration.

They're defensive. Look up the synonyms of 'defensive' and tell me that most of those don't apply. Oh hell, I'll post 'em here:

arresting, averting, balking, checking, conservative, coping with, defending, foiling, forestalling, frustrating, guarding, in opposition, interrupting, opposing, preservative, preventive, protecting, resistive, safeguarding, thwarting, uptight, watchful, withstanding

So with Cheney's recent comments (or restatements, as some have pointed out) about Mary being contrary to W's just days before the Republican National Convention, and with small-government Republicans (remember those?) being squeezed out while W screeds "I'm compassionate!" from the bully spot, I wonder if gay marriage actually DOES cause straight people to split apart.

The bulk of the behavior of the pro-Bush agglomerate is only a piling-on attempt (often successful) to frustrate and arrest the initiative of those who oppose. Not very constructive—much less inventive—and it leaves them with no bandwidth left to ponder the question "and then what?". Seriously, what does the car-chasing dog do when he finally catches the bumper?

Before a real, nationally-televised split could possibly happen, though, I'm sure the ameliorators and the -cough, cough- peacemakers (blessed be) will want to reduce the importance of same-sex marriage into a very small platform plank. One small enough for the effete white straight men to brandish with stealth and effectiveness.

Posted by Jeff at 12:20 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

eXpressive: 8/10

Practical: 6/10

Physical: 4/10

Giver: 8/10

You are a XPIG--Expressive Practical Intellectual Giver. This makes you a Catch.

You are a magazine-cover, matinee idol dreamboat. Parents love you and want to set you up with their kids. However, first dates are tough because it takes time for your qualities to come out.

You are generous and kind. You think first and act later. You are cool in a conflict, but your practical side means if your partner throws out emotional appeals ("why can't we do what I want for a change?") they will grate on your nerves, even when the conflict is resolved.

You're a romantic. You enjoy the thrill of the hunt, and you don't just fall into bed with anyone. You pay close attention to your significant other's needs, and this makes you an excellent lover and partner. The problem is that your friends and lovers may find it so easy to express things to *you* that they lose sight of whether you feel as comfortable with *them*! This doesn't necessarily make you feel under-appreciated -- you're too well-adjusted and self-aware for that -- but you may feel restless. Thus you seek adventure in your life outside the relationship to prove and actualize yourself.

Of all the types, you would make the best parent.

You are coiffed.

Didja see "Big Fish"? 'Cause you're like Ewan MacGregor in "Big Fish."

Of the 5303 people who have taken this quiz, 9.7 % are this type.

---------------------------------------------

Take the Quiz: 20 Questions to a Better Relationship

Posted by Jeff at 12:46 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

We went here to see them.

On my very first trip to Tucson to spend time with Sam, 2 days after I got there we went to see Limbeck. I was blown away. That time, Sam and I learned a lot about each other. This time at Limbeck, almost a year later, I'd we learned we were right. Goddamn, I love that man.

Go see Limbeck if you get a chance. They've just started a national tour.

Posted by Jeff at 11:43 AM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

Dick Cheney lubes up a refreshingly blunt statement opposing federal meddling in whole same-sex marriage thing and slips it up W's backside. But knowing George, I imagine it won't even hit the sides. Good Ol' Dick Cheney [before he dicks you] seems almost like a real dad towards his lesbian daughter, Mary.

Desperation or Candor? Stunt or Shunt? Father or Blather?

The American Right swoops in with "compassionate!"

The American Left with "duplicitous!"

The American Middle with "huh?"

The American Me says, "Gee, I've never seen this one before...splitting the incumbent ticket during an election?"

Grab the dramanine, chil'ren! Or the spin'll kill ya.

[Update: links added below]

CNN
New York Times (free registration may be required)
San Francisco Chronicle
Washington Post (free registration required)

Fox "News" ...oops, Foxnews isn't carrying the story yet. [Update: there's a video, buried on the right side under -ahem- "You Decide" There's also now a story about the story, whose leading sentence does not bear out in the article.]
New York Post ...oops, they don't have it either.
(..say, doesn't Mr. Murdoch own both of these?)

Posted by Jeff at 09:15 AM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

Today, Sam, Fred, Donovan, Shan, Marcello and I ended up heading out to the movies after we hung out at the Lonestar. We ended up seeing Alien vs Predator, a brilliant film which uses deft allegory—oh, who am I kidding...this movie is for nerdy mooks who like to see things blowed up real good. And sometimes, I'm a nerdy mook.

It was a fun movie, except for its attempt to insert the Predator culture into human history as the template—if not the source—of some religions. Now, don't get me wrong, they do fit the bill quite nicely....they're, well, predatory, they manufacture their own raison d'être by unleashing a horror on the world and then accepting the mantle of 'savior' for themselves. They expend the unwitting by convincing them to serve a greater good while refusing to abide any cost to themselves.

Oh, and when all else fails, there's always a scorched-earth policy and destroy all evidence just in case people want to bring up the past to use against them.

Perhaps this is unfair to religions. There are other groups, other phenomena for which the above all apply.

So, the best thing the movie had going for it? Two words: Raoul Pova. Click on the pic for a bigger version.

Add to the list using sex to steer the populace, I suppose. GoodLordJesusSkateboardingChrist, he's pretty.

Posted by Jeff at 12:13 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

I'm sitting here watching a Science Channel show on the human brain. I was hoping it'd be a little more than it is, cover new ground for me, but it's quite basic. So instead, I'm sitting here reviewing the day, reviewing the last two weeks away from home. It's been a spectacular experience, in breadth and depth, emotion and reason, history and the now.

Sam and I, and (brother) Sam and (his wife) Karen have had a few opportunities to just hang out. And a magnificent and unexpected thing happens each time: stories. I might go so far as to say that it's the primary connective tissue among us all.

I'm surprised at myself that it took me 40 years to notice that our family excels at story-telling. Stories about each other, about ourselves, about events, experiences.

[Eerily, the human brain program on the Science Channel just switched over to a piece about using story-construction as a methodology for enhancing memorization problems.]

We learn more about one another through our stories, tell one another about ourselves with stories. We remind, we reinforce, we correct one another's perceptions. More experiences become common through knowing, hearing. More experiences stay afloat in our own minds by telling.

Karens' mom is a superb artist with a splendid knack for color. Now, from age 7 to age 15 I attended an art school. It was a weekly thing, 2 hours a session after school. I learned many things from Mary Hughes, the teacher. I learned much about color theory, about the combinatorics of the palette, about shape, about interaction of elements. In other words: visual story.

One of Karen's stories tonight was about her mother, about art galleries in Jim Thorpe, PA. I learned a few things about her mother, by direct statement and by inference when she described her mother's behavior when in the presence of other artists. I learned about some of her mother's teaching techniques for young artists.

"Yes, but ____ _____ is about marketing. She markets herself," Karen says. "My mother does art because....well, because she just can't not do it."

Frank Herbert once wrote: "What do you despise? By this are you truly known."

I'm not so sure anymore. It's a useful perspective to try on, to wear for a while just to get a glimpse around the corner or behind that vertex, but it's no end-all to knowing yourself.

Another perhaps even more useful metric is the Can't Not.

That is to say, what activities do you do simply because you can't not do them? Which activities go beyond simple enlightenment or elective satiation and are as compulsory to your own life as breathing and eating and sleeping?

For me, in the last 10 years, the Can't Not is writing. This blog is just one more outlet for the Can't Not; fiction is another; private chronicling is yet another.

What is your Can't Not? I'd love to hear your stories.

Posted by Jeff at 10:51 AM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

It was Monday morning when Sam and I met up with Michael for lunch. He's now a New Yorker and, more to the point, a former San Franciscan. For all the sniping and snarkiness in the world (and yeah, I've been dragged down into contributing to that), there are sublime moments. There are deserving goodnesses instead of just the deserved punishments.

Our trip to New York was a deserved good time. I'm going to gush about Bill & Edgar, about Jennie, about Byrne, and about all of New York City until friends slap me for it. I'll probably deserve that, too.Michael's deserved good fortune is more palpable, more concrete. He's settling into an optimal situation with living space, location, school, friends, everything....I swear you can hear the 'snick!' as even each little thing falls into place for him. It's a terrific thing to see, a comforting thing to witness that sometimes the good stuff manifests for good, hardworking, talented people.

Sam and I didn't have our camera with us when Michael gave us a tour of his new place, new neighborhood and Columbia's campus, but I did have my phone...the above pics are from the main quad at Columbia University.

All of this, coupled with enriching and enjoyable times with Sam's family, with Bill & Edgar, and with my family, means we'll be back East a lot more often. My existence in San Francisco will become a bit less insular, in turn making it that much better overall.

Posted by Jeff at 07:43 AM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

In the interest of full disclosure, not because I have to according to the letter of the law (because it's my blog, after all), but rather because I choose to, according to the spirit of the laws of good will, I have deleted several comments made by the soi-disant Gordon the Magnificent. His comments were nasty and utterly off topic and were posted against entries that were about nothing but my own good fortune in friendships. These were my only criteria for deletion.

In the political posts I have made, all of his comments remain intact and unchanged from their original content. I leave them there because to do otherwise would close a forum that, however feckless it has become due to ad hominem and other attacks, should remain open. I leave them intact, and that's better than the posters deserve, better than they would do for me, better than they have done for me in their own forums.

I have no desire for this to be the first step in the same kind of race conditions that are leading us all towards oligarchy in this country. I desire only to continue posting my thoughts and my ideas without being bogged down by a mob.

Perhaps very soon I can abandon even this small but dangerous precedent and go back to welcoming all comers for all reasons. Perhaps good will may prevail in the end.

Until then, I hope you all understand.

Posted by Jeff at 09:32 AM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

Before leaving Manhattan today, Sam and I, my mom and her cousin visited the Apple Store SoHo. We'd been there the day before, Sam and I, to buy a housewarming gift, and I saw this bit of shiny-shiny. It's like a ray gun; it's a 3.2 megapixel digital still camera, along with a digital video recorder that has an MPEG-4 compressor in hardware. It also comes with a 512MB SD card, which holds approx 30 minutes of video, or about a bazillion still pics.

The photos it takes aren't nearly as beautiful as those from my Canon Powershot G2, the video isn't quite DV-quality, but the quality is plenty for taking snaps and for shooting video clips. And it fits in my pocket, something neither the G2 nor our DV cam does.

Of course, Mac OS X sees the camera and starts up iPhoto, ready to import the still images. The camera also shows up on the desktop as a mounted volume, where I can drag the MPEG-4 video off of it into my Movies folder.

I am.......the God of Gadgets.

Posted by Jeff at 11:18 AM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

I have a total crush on Jennie. Tonight, Sam and I, and Bill and Edgar, met up with Michael and Jennie for dinner at Empire Szechuan. I'd never met Jennie before, and when I saw her standing across Broadway with Michael, I started smiling. When she saw us, she started smiling. I got all giggly like a little girl and ended up hopping across Broadway. I hugged her; she kissed my cheek. I swooned; she smiled again.

After dinner, we tried to find a real coffeehouse to go to, but only found a Starbucks. When we got to it, it was full..nowhere to sit and have a chat. "There's another one!" Jennie called out, and sure enough, 2 more blocks down was Yet Another Starbucks. Thank God that each Starbucks in the Universe has clear line-of-sight with at least one other Starbucks. You just know that one day they're going to throw a giant red switch and activate a network that turns us all into frappuchino-craving zombies. Ut-oh.

Crashiepoo met up with us after we'd gotten our venti grande's (with whip!) At times it felt like we'd all been friends since god was a boy (you know, before he became a transsubstantisexual). Man, I love that.

I've loved this entire trip to NYC. We've been staying on the Upper Westside, with Bill & Edgar. I've written about them before, always in the glowingest terms possible. They used to be my next door neighbors back home in San Francisco. I used to be so...used to...having them around. I love them both so much. I miss them, have missed them, am going to miss them when we leave for Northeastern Pennsylvania (Shavertown, PA, to be exact) in the morning.

Just being around Bill & Edgar again had predisposed me to enjoy everything about New York. But Rich Maxwell (the one that originally dubbed me "Peaches") was also in town with our friend Scott and that made things that much more comfortable. Then we ran into a co-worker of mine in a total coincidence at the end of Christopher Street. San Francisco has completely inured me to being shocked at such events. Serendipity rules.

We also saw our neighbor (well, about 4 blocks away) Bob on Columbus Circle when Sam and Michael and I were headed to lunch earlier today. The world gets smaller and smaller all the time. Awesome.

The only profoundly sad thing (selfishly) for me in this whole trip is saying goodbye to Michael. We've only known each other for about a year, but time doesn't really figure into friendship. There are people I can know for decades and never refer to as 'friend', and most of my friendships have started with that instant recognition of something special between us.

All camp aside, that's what happened with Mr. Trinity tonight. The world may be getting smaller, but moments like these remind me that 3500 miles is still too far away.

Posted by Jeff at 09:58 AM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

Today we finally met Crash. GodDAMN what a terrific guy. As Sam says, "He's just good people." He's one of the great things that NYC has that San Francisco, unfortunately, does not.

Thanks for spending the day with us, Crashiepoo.

Posted by Jeff at 09:11 AM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

Two Macs and an Airport connection that was sharable over an ethernet patchcord. It still amazes me (yes, in that nerdy way) that I can have my G4 Cube at home mounted on my desktop in the middle of anywhere.

Sam dutifully downloaded lots of nifty porn medical-informational materials for the hour-and-a-half ride from Philadelphia to Manhattan. He's lovely. And tumescent.

Last night before bed, I went hunting for some bombast-free conservative blogs. I'm desperate to find someone willing to argue policy and ideology instead of the the standard, "Look at this funny picture of John Kerry looking funny! Isn't it FUNNY???". I'd love to find some places which understand the abstract, understand nuance, understand that an analogy is more illuminating than a dictionary-lookup.

I tried reading Andrew Sullivan for a while, and many of you know how that turned out.

Any pointers?

Posted by Jeff at 07:39 AM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

"Here's my impression of George W. Bush! Two big ears and nothin' but air between them!"

Sure, it's puerile, but it's all in good fun, unlike the bunco 'humor' I've seen aimed at Kerry. Connivance prevents such types from self-effacement.

Posted by Jeff at 02:38 AM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

Sam and I were in Philadelphia, just driving around to check out the sights. We did many of the touristy things..well, tourist-lite, as we didn't pay to get in to see the Liberty Bell, etc. We stopped at Pat's and had cheesesteaks (I've had better—hey, they didn't have sweet AND hot peppers, so what kind of cheesesteak is that?), we drove around City Hall, we stopped at the Art Museum.

The only thing I really wanted to get near was Independence Hall. I'm not at all sure why; maybe it's been the books I've been reading about the Founders. I don't really know, because it wasn't until we actually got across the Ben Franklin Bridge that I decided that Independence Hall was something I wanted to see.

We got Doris Day parking; it's Sam's gift. I don't understand it, it just works. As we were catching first sight of Independence Hall, I heard a familiar voice coming from a loudspeaker across the street. Bill Clinton! It was his speech from the DNC playing out of a souvenir store two doors down. From the location where I took this picture of Sam, I stood looking at Independence Hall and listening to President Clinton's speech.

We haven't really changed all that much, it seems. It's still a society that holds ideals (if not practicals) in esteem. It's still some place where at least some people care about the future that lies beyond one's own lifetime (or the next four years, for that matter). To say that things need to be better in the future does not, should not come to mean that today is absolutely without merit or wonder. To say that things are bad right now is not, should not be a blanket statement of irretrievability for our country.

Just because the wheels finally came off the wagon because of the Bush Presidency does not mean that they can't be put back on by someone more interested in motion forward than who gets credit for the driving.

I miss Bill Clinton so much. I hope I miss John Kerry in the same way after Inauguration Day, 2013.

Posted by Jeff at 04:21 AM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

We're off for a while. And while I rarely enjoy being away from San Francisco (no, I'm not a hermit, I just so love it here), I'm sure we'll have a splendid time. And I always end up with stories.

No roughing it this time around...Sam's parents have broadband and wireless. Bill & Edgar have broadband, as do my folks. We're taking one of these with us to fill in the wireless gaps.

We'll be at the beach (the Jersey shore), Fire Island, Manhattan, and lounging by the pool at my Ancestral Home.

I've never been on a cross-country flight in first class...it should be quite comfy, when I'm not slapping Sam's hand down for pointing and laughing at the people back in "steerage" (his word).

While in NYC, I'll also be saying goodbye to him. It's like dropping a younger brother off at college. There will be tears. I've already warned Sam. (I'm secretly hoping that she will slap me and tell me to snap out of it).

Also, I know that there are a few of us meeting up in NYC. Email me if you wanna join in the confab-ulousness!

Posted by Jeff at 09:05 AM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

It always throws me, perhaps more than it should (but then again, maybe less than it should), when certain wishes come true. And when one doesn't even know the wish, and it comes true anyway, well, what the hell do you do with that?

I speak of k.d. lang's new album, Hymns of the 49th Parallel. And actually, I speak of a particular song on that album, Hallelujah.

This is a song written by Leonard Cohen and I originally heard it as part of a tribute album, I'm Your Fan sung by John Cale. It's a quiet and intimate song that, at times, also achieves soaring heights with expansive intervals. It's a song that contains, in my mind, the single most story-dense lyrics ever written:

I heard there was a secret chord
That David played, and it pleased the Lord,
But you don't really care for music, do you?

It's a commentary on another person, both scathing and dispassionate, bitter and resigned. In the context of the relationship in question, it speaks just as much about the singer. Maybe even more.

John Cale's voice is a good fit; someone with a far more powerful voice would have been better, I always thought. So when Bono of U2 did his own version of the song, I was thrilled. Then I was disappointed: he sang it with one of his whispery—and, dare I say it, all-too-precious—voices. Well past October.

So it's a song that I've been going back to for years. It's a bit of a respite from the world, saved for those times when I'm particularly sensitive (some might say over-sensitive) to the lack of importance the world places on the marvelous, the enchanted, the live-a-day numinous.

You say I took the name in vain
I don't even know the name
But if I did, well really, what's it to you?
There's a blaze of light
In every word
It doesn't matter which you heard
The holy or the broken Hallelujah

The world in these times is lousy with the ordinary; the letters of the law grab pitchforks and oil torches in hopes of exorcising the spirit of the law. The legions of the faithful who demand proof, who don't want to feel so they insist on merely touching (sometimes violently), who fear being made the fool to such a degree that they're willing to sacrifice joy as well.

We all make our own ways in the world, each and all ultimately alone, though there is joy and comfort and companionship and love along the way. Why do so many trade that multiplicity for a foolish consistency of abject, defensive rancor?

I did my best, it wasn't much
I couldn't feel, so I tried to touch
I've told the truth, I didn't come to fool you
And even though
It all went wrong
I'll stand before the Lord of Song
With nothing on my tongue but Hallelujah

Give k.d. lang's version of this song a listen. There is absolutely no literal value to the song, but an embarrassment of riches in all those other things that mean so much to me. There's a blaze of light in every word...

Posted by Jeff at 09:47 AM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

Tonight, I went to the Crow Bar. A good friend of mine is a bartender there; the owner of the bar (a cool guy named Roy) needed help and advice with his Mac, so I was happy to help. Truth be told, Macs—especially Mac OS X machines—need so little assistance, that I can sound like this totally magnanimous guy..."You call me any time if you need help with your Mac"...and it almost never comes to pass.

No, seriously...I like to help...I mean it whenever I say it.

Sam and Bill (B. Ill) came along, but they just hung out, played air hockey and drank beers.

I played Galaga, and a pinball machine. And drank the Dutch beer, Hoegaarden. It's been a while since I just hung out at a place. I didn't think I'd feel at home there at all—it's located right in the middle of all the giant, racing-light festooned tittie bars in San Francisco—but it was awesome. We even got Doris Day parking—in North Beach!

The picture of the TransAmerica Pyramid was taken by resting the camera phone on top of the roof of the Jeep. Best view of the building you can find.

Posted by Jeff at 12:26 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

I fear that people think that John Kerry will be a Savior of some kind. I fear that people will expect too much from John Kerry as POTUS.

Why? Because there is no respect for popular consent, popular vote these days. No respect at all for the privilege and honor of being able to cast a vote which can change the world.

Jimmy Carter was My President. That is to say, he was the first president I remember remembering in any sort of detail. I was twelve when he took office. Gerald Ford was the President before him, of course, and of course I remember Gerald Ford, but even then it seemed he was just the guy filling the place cuz the real guy got kicked out.

So, Jimmy Carter was my president. Bill Clinton was my Best President. I miss him terribly, get wistful whenever I think about how it was when he was in office.

But you know what? Ronald Reagan was My President, too. George H. W. Bush was, as well. Much as I hated Ronald Reagan for the overweening neglect of anyone who wasn't rich, anyone who wasn't big-corporate, anyone who wasn't straight and WASP-y (whatever their skin color), he was still the president. You can't NOT respect that.

Or can you?

I always thought of George H. W. Bush as a bit sad, a bit weak, more than a bit effete, but again, he was the President of the United States. I disagreed with so much of what he stood for. I didn't at all like the fact that he had flip-flopped so majorly on something so important to so many people: a woman's right to choose. Back when he was Ronald Reagan's opponent in 1980, he was definitely an old-school conservative about abortion and more directly, about the size of government. He supported the right of a woman to choose the course of her own biology—until Ronald Reagan chose him as a running mate. Then he sold out his ideologies in favor of political gain. But still, he was Vice President of the United States, and then POTUS. And you have to respect that.

Or do you?

George W. Bush, on the other hand, does not feel like my President. He never won the election, he just outdistanced the losing. Thanks to "activist judges", he got to be president because the voting process itself was deemed undeserving of Due Process. That he's colossally inept and barely scraping by intellectually on the general ineptitude and/or unwillingness of the populace to look behind the curtain of obviousness and literalism to find deeper truth, is just the acrid icing on the caustic cake.

Prior to 9/11 (that's 11/9 to you non-Americans), I had a bias against Bush, but I spent the smallest amount of time, at least, wondering if there were any upsides to the things he did. Post 11/9 (that's 9/11 to you provinicial Americans), it all just fell apart. The wheels came off the wagon when he squandered the feeling of national unity in favor of a self-serving jingoism that served no one but his own friends, at the cost of over 10,000 lives so far. There is no upside.

I can't say for sure that if Bush wins the election—if he even allows an election—that I'll think of him as a legitimate keeper of the Oval Office. He has an incumbant—and Incumbant's—advantage that he didn't earn in the first place. I suppose we'll know when we know.

While I have every faith that John Kerry will win this November's election (assuming Bush allows ones) fair and square and will make an excellent POTUS, I sadly, depressingly, fully expect those on the Right will continue to screech and screed and equivocate about the so-called equivalence of liberalism and "evil". I feel uncomfortably certain that they will abandon their so-called patriotism and say that "John Kerry is not my President!"

I'm of the mind that they'll pile on his every effort, they'll commit either-or fallacy after either-or fallacy (like they're doing already), they'll drag him down and then they'll blame him for failure.

As an American—hell, as a human being—I have an almost obsequious respect for the Office of the President of the United States.

Will the Right, when John Kerry is Our President?

Posted by Jeff at 03:21 AM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)