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January 07, 2006

Almost Home

Yes, I'm home. They didn't bother with the second x-ray this morning, since the last one looked good and the doc noticed I slept on a flat bed last night.

It took surprisingly little time to get me out of there. I expected red tape to hurt as much as surgical tape, but nope! I was home by 11:30 this morning. Everything was the same, except eight days later.

The calendars lie. The TV lies. My inner clock shrugs at me.

This convalescence is going to take a while.

excerpt from Almost Home by Mary Chapin Carpenter

But there's no such thing as no regrets
And baby it's alright
I'm not running
I'm not hiding
I'm not reaching
I'm just resting in the arms of the great wide open
Gonna pull my soul in
And I'm almost home

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December 13, 2005

I Want To Vanish—Sometimes

Sometimes, apropos of nothing—or at least of nothing tangible or identifiable—escape is the thought that pops into my head. And it's not so much the need for flight, but the need for solitude. Sam can attest to this; all my family can. Sometimes I want the world to just leave me the fuck alone (hold your protests of irony that I speak of this in a blog).

I was thinking of this today, and in that wonderful serendipity that exists only in the Bay Area, this Elvis Costello song comes up on iTunes:

I Want To Vanish

I want to vanish
This is my fondest wish
To go where I cannot be captured
Laid on a decorated dish
Even in splendor this curious fate
Is more than I care to surrender
Now it's too late

Whether in wonder or indecent haste
You arrange the mirrors and the spools
To snare the rare and precious jewels
That were only made of paste

If you should stumble upon my last remark
I'm crying in the wilderness
I'm trying my best to make it dark
How can I tell you I'm rarer than most
I'm certain as a lost dog
Pondering a sign post

Chorus

I want to vanish
This is my last request
I've given you the awful truth
Now give me my rest

For all the “awful truths” I have given in this last year, for all the requests, sometimes I feel like I'm still “crying in the wilderness”.

And yes, I think I'm “rarer than most”, but we each and all possess something that makes us rarer than most in some regard. Those lacking in some kind of something I tend not to be around.

Is vanishing the same thing as escape, even if it's not me that makes the effort to do anything but wish and want?


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October 27, 2005

Mix Mutt, White Horse

Fourtoes-1My baaaaaby is DJing at the White Horse Bar in Oakland/Berkeley tonight.

He's talented and exquisite and beautiful. He rocks.

Come see and hear.


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September 22, 2005

Tonight, Tonight

I'm heading over in a bit to the East Bay (that's Pig Latin for 'BEAST', by the way), to see Sam's very first solo flight as a DJ. DJ Mix Mutt. The party: Pound. Same place as last Friday's opener: The White Horse Bar at 66th & Telegraph.

As a little gift, I traveled all the way to Eastern Africa to get him a suitable domain name. There's nothing there yet but his logo, but go have a look at http://mixmutt.dj

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September 18, 2005

The Reading of a Song

Mine is a very visual mind.

Words fall on a page and are captured with near-perfect fidelity. For images, that goes triple.

Listening to spoken word in conversation or film or song, though, and I'm deaf of remembrance. I'm not tone deaf, nor is my ear of tin. In fact, just as I possess some talent for drawing and for narrative and for cognitive eloquence, modest though they may be there are some musical talents in me.

It's just that I can see the music on the sheet better than I can listen to it: the pattern of oblong dots and the neat lines and circles and arcs is more musical to me than the hearing of it—on a cognitive level, anyway, because there's nothing like music in its effects on my mood, my outlook, my own personal timbre (and make it in threes—a waltz or anything in 3/4 or 6/8 time or carry on in triplets even in standard time—and I am utterly captivated. There's no explaining it).

But the unhearing memory, unless consciously exercised, does not so often bring the words of a song out of mood and into cognition.

Which is the sole reason that I'm such a huge fan of the wiki-lyrical sites that post the words to most of the songs out there. I have Dashboard Widgets that look to those sites to display the lyrics of whatever song iTunes happens to be playing at the time. I'll hear a song either on the radio, on my iPod shuffle/mini/20GB or in my head (that happens a lot) and I'll go google “My Heaven Mary Chapin Carpenter lyrics” or “Fantastic Delusion The Tubes Lyrics” and go read the words to the songs.

And in the reading there's so much more than in the hearing, for me. It's like I get to enjoy every song twice: for the listening and its attendant swoon; and for the reading and its attendant understanding.

Sounds like a gift, right? Well, twice given, twice taken, I say. Because one can also google “Take Me Home Tonight Eddie Money Lyrics” or “Toxic Britney Spears Lyrics”. Shudder. Re-shudder.

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September 16, 2005

Mix Mutt

The Mix Mutt: Sam/LOML

The Place: White Horse Inn

The Thing: The Big Debut of DJ Mix Mutt

The Time: 9pm to 10pm, so get your asses there early

The Location: 6551 Telegraph Ave. Oakland, Ca. 94609 @ 66th st. 510-652-3820

Fourtoes

logo by impactresist

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August 25, 2005

Me, Me, Me, Meme

From Addaboy, who tagged me for this. Now, granted, I was randomly chosen for this—and by someone other than addaboy!—but I'll try not to take it personally. After all, he didn't. Ha.

Oh good, and it's a simple one. Ten songs you're currently 'digging'. Hmmm. As if my ignominy wasn't going tits-out already.


Tagging:

Sam
Tony
Skittles
Adam
Walt

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August 22, 2005

The Sherbs

I ask you, of big biceps and big brains and of here and here. The Sherbs. Love? Hate? Ennui?

“The Skill” (The Sherbs)

“Defying Gravity” (The Sherbs)


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August 11, 2005

Limbeck

The near-empty bottle of Miller High Life catches the thumps of bass guitar, vibrates in my hand. I hold it by the neck; I always hold my beer bottles by the neck. The music is dangerously loud, but my ears are blocked, a curious benefit of lingering sinus issues. The lighting is drastic, insufficient, universal to band bars.

This could be fifteen years ago. This could be Pittsburgh; in my hand could be an Iron City Beer. But it isn't fifteen years ago and this is San Francisco. And that's not The Toll playing on stage, it's Limbeck.

The past is just the past and I'm damn glad to be here and be now. The boys of Limbeck are gifted. Watching the thing that the four—and sometimes five—of them become when they play their songs is watching a true human miracle. Music—and not didactic pontificating—is the language of miracles and no god is needed.

To me, that transformation is the proof of a band. Not whether I like their music or not, not whether they play well or not, but that presence on stage that is so much more than the sum of the players.

I happen to love Limbeck's music, and especially their words. It's a privilege to witness the joy that each and all of them radiate when they're up there. Liking what they do instead of just doing whatever the fuck they like.

Last night was a very good night for me, the first one in a very long time. It was a good night for LOML as well. In a sense, Limbeck continues this “old home week” I've been experiencing (but have yet to write about): on my very first trip to Tucson, during my very first in-person time with Sam ever, we went to Starr Skates in downtown Tucson to see Limbeck. They played in a 600 sq ft space; we stood ten feet away from them—and we were near the back! Sam inched closer and I stood back watching him melt into the performance. The set of his shoulders almost imperceptibly shifted; he cocked his head forward and down a bit, exuding intent to become part of it all.

In him, I saw myself. Or at least saw a deep-down commonality between us. Something without words, something demonstrable only because you've demonstrated the same thing before. Something knowable only because you already know it.

To talk with the Limbeck boys is to talk with friendly, happy people. Genuine, decent guys whose immense, accessible talents have not produced immense, inaccessible egos.

Go see them if you get the chance. And pray to whomever that you do get the chance. And if that doesn't work, create the chance yourself. In any case, go buy their albums. They deserve to be heard and you deserve to get to know Limbeck's music.

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