All Hat, No Cattle
Borrowing from Zell Miller's logic, President Bush is a liar. He's lying when it comes to health care. There is no other conclusion. He wants smaller government. He also supposedly wants to add clinics to every "poor county" in America, but that costs money, taxpayer money! So, using Zell Miller's "Kerry voted against <pork>military weaponry, vehicles and aircraft</pork>"-style logic, George W. Bush is clearly against healthcare. No wait, he's clearly against government spending. No wait, he has to pay just a little attention to us here on Planet Earth pay lip service to something other than that little bit o' war, right? We still have a flagging economy; we still have suck-ass health care; we still have children being left behind. We still have a stupid-ass war going on to distract us from the absence of WMD's, the absence of bin Laden. George W. Bush's War on Terra. Nice ring to it.
Our botoxed esteemed Governor Schwarzenegger, who was born two years after the last tank rolled through Austria, born in a region that wasn't ever occupied by Soviet anything, wasn't even—and is still not—a Socialist nation, nonetheless tugged on their [place where there should be a] heart strings with his fictive prowess.
Back to Zell, his stuff was just too good. He got steamed up by Kerry and us Evil Liberals calling the Iraq War an "occupation" instead of a liberation. Stupid-ass Democrat contradicting President Bush himself, who has called it an "occupation" over and over—to quote, "No, they're not happy being occupied. I wouldn't be happy if I were occupied, would you?" Those Democrats will stoop to anything, won't they?
I am, however, starting to realize the reason that the stupid crazy bitches of the Right call John Kerry "Hanoi John": he actually went there, unlike Cheney, who got two deferments, unlike Bush, who couldn't find a shred of self-sacrifice with both hands and a flashlight.
By now, I realize it just does no good to criticize Bush, because Republicans don't care who it is, as long as he's got a Big Red "R" on his chest. Better Dead than Red, I say.
These are the same sycophants people whose blind obsequiousness makes them feel OK in making jokes about Bill Clinton's health. How do you reason with that kind of mindset?
They say that in any organized religion, there are two types of clerics: those who use the dogma for personal gain and those who sacrifice themselves for the sake of the greater ethic. To see the RNC all this week, you'd think there was only one kind. Ahh, but this week wasn't about thinking.
Bush's speech may have been "All Hat, No Cattle", but with Zell's flip-flopping, Schwarzenegger's True Lies, Pataki's failed memory (ask Condi Rice), Giuliani's freakish presence-of-mind while WTC towers collapsed around him and McCain's largely ignored reasonableness, it's clear that there's more ecstasy on the RNC floor than you'll ever find in a gay disco.
"Asshats, ALL Cattle", more like it.
Need more corroboration? Time Magazine has Bush ahead by 11 points now. Asshats, indeed.