Gall, Up.
Gallup.com runs the headline: Bush Retains Lead, Up by Eight Points. Now, while that's factually correct, I'm assuming (I don't know that for sure, actually, I'm just taking their word), is it true? Let's break it all down into little tiny meaningless bits, just like the hordes of wonder-free, nuance-free, respect-free Republicans do. No, c'mon, it'll be fun!
Let's take the first part. "Bush Retains Lead". So they're saying he's had a lead, and he's keeping it.
Let's take the second part. "Up by Eight Points." This one isn't so clear. He's still up by 8 points? He's up by 8 points more? Both?
Well, it can't be both. Here's where I'm going to apply a little syllogistic reasoning (no clicking that close-box in the upper left corner of your window!). If he's up by eight more points, he can't remain up by eight points because his numbers cannot have changed while remaining the same. If you think it can, I've got some non-Euclidean acreage to sell you. (and yes, nerds, I know that the surface of an oblate spheroid is non-Euclidean, but try finding a real estate agent who will take that into account. And if you do, run!).
But notice that the gallup headline wants it both ways? "Retains" is good news! "Up" is good news! Why not put both in a headline!
Here's where the self-enfeebled Republican's mind may see the wheels falling of the wagon, but here goes: the headline implies a thing, too. History. Trend. Retain is a word that states a relation to the previous. Up is also a word that requires a relative value.
Gallup is trying to tell the skimmers something, indeed! They're casually allowing you to believe that the trends are clearly in Bush's favor. It takes until the third paragraph for them to tell you that Bush's lead, as compared to numbers from less than two weeks ago has dropped to almost half of what it was. Yes, folks, he went from a supposed 13-point lead to an 8-point lead in just under two weeks. (Yes, I'm having fun with numbers, with the almost-half's and the just-under's).
Let's restate them more "concretely": Bush's lead is 62% of what it was 11 days ago. He's lost more than 2/3 of his lead!
This doesn't sound much like a 'retain', does it? But to be fair, Bush is still up, in the numbers. Just not 'up' from last time they measured. In fact, that sounds a lot likes Bush's numbers are down, doesn't it?
So Bush doesn't retain the lead he had 11 days ago AND his numbers are down. You can have both of those. In fact, you must have both.
Read the first paragraph of the article. Then look at the pretty graph. Then read the second paragraph. Then read the third paragraph. The last sentence of the third paragraph: "All of these changes among registered voters are within the poll's margin of error."
That bears repeating: All of these changes among registered voters are within the poll's margin of error.
<EMILY_LITELLA>Oh. Nevermind.</EMILY_LITELLA>