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Frosty the Snowman

In my neo-anti-TiVo world of Comcast HD and its not-yet-TiVo DVR, I find myself channel-surfing instead of choosing programs from the Now Showing MyDVR listing. Happening upon a show you might want to watch has its merits. Same class of things as getting inspiration from looking at a bunch of random images or new ideas from looking at non-related books stacked or tucked in side-by-side on a bookshelf.

So I ended up at the start of Frosty the Snowman.

This, naturally, tripped a stream of consciousness that flowed, ebbed and splashed through memories: Frosty was always shown on CBS. Channel 22, WYOU was out of Scranton, PA and so the reception was almost non-existent, making Frosty one of the least-watched Christmas Specials for us. Ghosting of images was the best we could manage. Then, in my head, ghosted images went to remembering analog scrambling of the premium channels on cable TV. In turning the “fine tune” outer-ring on the channel selector, one could hear the movie on HBO, or see the picture on HBO in black-and-white. But not both. So enterprising protonerd that I was, I would “watch” Grease on the little black-and-white TV in the bedroom and “listen” to it by blaring the TV from the family room. The rooms weren't too far apart for the delay in audio-syncing to be unbearable. Ahh, the things you do when your folks won't pony up the money because HBO also showed R-rated movies.

I digress.

The picture tonight, was in HD, with every frame, every line, every space a perfect solid color. No ghosts. Just snowmen and bad dialog. Bad dialog in processed 5.1 Dolby Digital. With my iBook in front of me, I went hunting for the name behind the voice of Frosty. Good ol' IMDB. Found out the guy's name, Jackie Vernon, and what else he was in and when I looked up, the opening credits were playing and the man's name was there. I don't know why, but that made me laugh: I could have just waited, but it didn't occur to me to wait. Strange all the differences in how we approach such a thing. In the 70s, Frosty the Snowman was a Christmas Special! A Television Event! Today, it's just video content with lots of metadata wrapped around it and easy accessibility either through DVR, DVD or happenstance.

There's a more discerning eye these days, a function of being 41 and, I suppose, just plain better at observation. Or perhaps it's just that adult observations are more complete, more nuanced, more particular than a teenager's or child's. In any case, I noticed a rather existential, post-modernist view to Frosty's waking moments. Here's the dialog:


FROSTY
Happy Birthday! Hey, I said my first words! But snowmen can't talk! CHUCKLES. Alright, c'mon now...what's the joke? Could...could I really be alive? I mean, I can make words. I can move. I can juggle. I can sweep. I can count to ten....1...2...3...4...5....9...6...8....well, I can count to five! LAUGHS. Whaddya know! I'm even ticklish. In fact, I'm all livin'! I am alive! What a neat thing to happen to a nice guy like me!

Clearly the Christmas Snow (Three's Company anyone?) from which Frosty was constructed is not subject to the Bootstrapping Problem.

I also noticed that before Frosty starts counting, he has the standard-cartoon-issue 3-fingers-plus-thumb on each hand, but when he presents his counting (right) hand there's an extra finger! And his left hand still has only four digits! It's creepy, but it only lasts a moment: when he drops his counting hand, it reverts to four digits. That whacky-magical Christmas Snow, I tell ya.

Of course, IMDB told me later of this and two other “goofs” in the show, but I'd call the presti-extra-digitation something other than a goof. Like Frosty himself, Frosty was given the finger because it was necessary. All kids need a little magic in their lives. And all of us, in one way or another, are still kids.

<segue>Insert here</segue>

Oh, and Santa also blackmails someone in this show.


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Comments

Blackmail! Adult theme alert! Adult theme alert!

I don't want my children exposed to blackmail, or anything that exists in the real world. I'm going to start a letter-writing campaign that hints at a boycott. And anyone who disagrees with me is not a True American.

Won't someone think of The Children!?

(ugh... I guess I'm feeling bitter for the holidays this year. hehe)

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