Batgirl Needs Nipples!
Yeah, I know Batman & Robin is sooooo 1997, but hey, I'm convalescing and I'm still dazzled by HD and I'd rather watch a bad HD movie than a decent non-HD one, and the colors were soooo pretty!
So here's the thing. Batman has nipples. Robin has nipples (god, and amazing blue eyes). But how come Batgirl doesn't have 'em? (nipples, not blue eyes)
I'm outraged. Well, and a bit turned on—as a gay man, I can comment on Batgirl's hotness, but I feel Batman's and Robin's hotness down to my very—hang on, this is a family show. Nevermind.
So, back to nipples.
I know this was discussed in great length way back when, but not by me—another pause here, Jason Patric is on TV. Yeah, yeah yeah, it's Speed 2 and it's actually not HD, but it's Jason Patric!
Yeah, there's a little cabin fever going on.
So. Nipples. He has 'em. He has 'em. She doesn't have 'em.
In my quest to distance our world from the odious 2005, and understanding that the changes I wish to proffer to the world must be grandiose and subtle, universal and particular, profound and absurd, I think that in 2006, Batgirl must have nipples.
This was funnier when I was still on vicodin.
Then again, I can't wait to see how many hits I get from search engines for “Batman” and “nipples”.
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Comments
Posting high? I remember the nipples well, and Robin, oh Robin. My bat-suit would have had a 3rd visible point had I been in his proximity.
Posted by: Lee(Skittles) | January 24, 2006 06:22 AM
While I sympathize with your position re: Batgirl's nipples, I must remind you that Mars still needs women.
It's going to be hard to sell the Batgirlian nipple shortage when an entire planet - a red one, no less - needs women, nipples and all.
I laud you for your attention to Batgirl, but I think we should be focusing our efforts where they're needed most. Mars NEEDS women, and they haven't gotten any in over fifty years of asking.
Posted by: Josh | January 24, 2006 06:33 AM
Honey...of COURSE I have nipples...I work these nipples hard...er...I worked hard for these nipples, dammit. Besides which I never understood what a girl's nipples were for anyway (and hence the divorce after 12 years and 3 kids--as my favorite female poet once said...."oops I did it again!")
Posted by: BatmanSF | January 24, 2006 09:30 AM
Hey -
'Skittles' stole my line. Hey, but I'll add this, whatever happened to women's equal rights.
Posted by: Tony | January 24, 2006 11:16 AM
Ha ha! This is hilarious stuff. Good blog, by the way.
Can America handle Batgirl's nipples? I don't mean that literally.
Posted by: Princess Sparkle Pony | January 28, 2006 05:02 AM